Monty Python's "Match of Philosophers"

In keeping with the festivities in Germany, here's Monty Python's "Match of Philosophers", the Greeks vs. the Germans! It's totally brilliant! Confucius as ref! Too funny! And here's the whole sketch , the Greeks vs. the Germans + Beckenbauer (How did he get in?): "The Greeks vs. The Germans". Where does it take place, in Munich's "Olympic Stadium", of course! Other great lineups would be the Objectivists against the Subjectivists? Maybe Phenomenology vs. Psychoanalysis? What about "The Mind" team vs. "The Body" team? Or, as Andrew Feenberg suggested to me, the Tragics vs. the Comics.

Notice how it's the Greeks that are moving around and passing the ball while the Germans -- Hegel, Schopenhauer, et al, merely stand around and contemplate. Hmm. Those frickn' German idealists! Only ever thinking about the "will" and never doing anything "willful". After all, it is the Greeks who worked out notions like "becoming", "is" and "ought", and "the good game" in the preparatory practice sessions. Get it through your thick skulls, Deutchmensch, one "ought" to score more goals than the other team in football, not contemplate the "synthesis" of a victory solely within the thinking subject (damn, Hegel, he has too much influence on these guys, doesn't he know that a true synthesis is impossible, the Spirit is of no use in football). In socccer, the "good game" is realized when you win the game by scoring more goals. Socrates gets it! Or, take a page from Aristotle's philiosophy of football production, G men! Run, Germans, run! Although it seems that the Germans did get a set of concretely fresh legs when Marx comes on as a last minute substitute with his rousing cry to the rest of the team: "soccer players of the world, unite!" But, alas, it seems even Marx is a bit lethargic long term, with his pot belly, chronic cigar smoking, and all, to him victory ultimately seems to lie in some future revolutionary goal. Also, notice how Nietzche's performance is also promising, although nobody seems to be getting his position. Maybe we'll finally understand decades later what FN's play making meant in this match...